BlackAndCoke.com - Fire And Ice

Question Friday, June 19, 2009

Ok....i was in a relationship for 3yrs... I'm just finding out during that period i wasn't the only 1 thinking i was in this relationship...i was cheated on, i received phone calls from females, and yet i still didn't have the strength to leave this person....i felt trapped Now that I've come to the realization that this person is not for me, does not respect me, AND to top it off....has a baby on the way WOW...i can finally say that I've moved on....NOT COMPLETELY THOUGH.....which is unfortunate... we still speak and I've told him i don't want to b w/ him anymore BUT i do still love him...& I've told him that....(probably not a good idea) he still seems to think tht we'll end up 2gether again...he wants to work things out BUT i can never c myself w/ him AGAIN... the thing is i still want us to b friends....i feel as if i cant not be his friend... my question is...how do i tell him we will never b more than friends w/out him gettin mad & deleting me from his life? How do i explain it to him well enough for him to understand tht he done me wrong & i cant be w/ some1 i cant trust w/out him thinking im just weak & cant handle things tht come w/ a relationship? (thats the way he puts it) THx

- Ice

Well the way he put it is foolishness...That's his little mind games. I am happy that you got out when you did. Your feelings will take time to dissolve but in time all things heal..and to your last question, well you just come straight out and tell him. You are trying to be the mature one by remaining friends but sometimes it's not that simple..

- Fire

There's nothing wrong with still having feelings because three years is a long time, but I think for now you have to discontinue communicating with him so that you can heal, if not you will inevitably end up in his clutches with no way out. Good luck!