BlackAndCoke.com - Fire And Ice

Question Tuesday, May 06, 2008

This isn’t a question rather something I have noticed. Recently a friend of mine was involved in a serious accident. Instead of people praying for this persons recovery rumors spread throughout Bermuda life wildfire. Upon first finding out, and not knowing the severity, a close friend of mine called and said, "Tell me something, I heard Taylor (not the name but it could be for either a male or female) was dead, is that true?" Now this person knew how close we were because I always heard complaints that we spent too much time together. If the person was dead why would you be that blunt about it not thinking how I would feel? Every five minutes (if that) someone would call and say, "I'm sorry to hear of your loss", I even had someone call and say, “I don’t want to be the one to tell you this." I stopped him and said DON'T because I have heard that my friend had past since that morning when indeed (s)he was still at the hospital fighting, like the fighter I know of her/him. I just want to let Bermudians know that someone's health isn’t the latest gossip. They are people too, and have family who have feelings, and who are going through a rough point of their lives at that time. I hated to hear that (s)he had died every few minutes, it literally put me on an emotional roller coaster. I was receiving pictures from Bermynet of my friend in my inbox with the caption saying, "Bermuda's fifth road fatality." In my mind I was like WTF! How can people be so IGNORANT!! If you are at work how in the hell do you have time to search Bermynet to find a picture!!?? I've heard of multi-tasking but damn! I learned a valuable lesson that day! I was never one to start rumors and forward them around, or be so determined and get the id of the person off of the internet, but I was someone who waited to hear from the vultures that were adamant about finding out first. I'd tell my friends as well. Lesson learned, I'll never do that again, you just never know until it happens to you, until it hits so close to home, until it knocks on your back door! So I just want to say finally please if you see anyone who you know has been through something, you know their friend, family member, has been hurt or even died, remember to give them privacy first, we all deal with things differently, some like to be left alone. It's ok to offer sympathy, but try to remain positive...be a shoulder to lean on then a stumbling block. Don’t pressure anyone to talk about the issue, I’m just asking you to be considerate of others and their feelings!

- Ice

While I agree this is a very touchy subject. Yes, Bermudians typically are very nosy people and like gossip , however in defense it also saddens NOT only the family and friends but Bermudians as a whole especially if the person in question is a young adult because they are so young to have lost their life or to even be struggling for their life. At times like these Bermudians are known to show support to Families at their time of need. Yes, I do believe that people need their privacy but it is also a good feeling knowing that people not even relate or close to the family have a heart and show conern. But like you said everyone is different and copes differently.

- Fire

Wow! THANK YOU for this submission because I agree with you wholeheartedly. Whether it's an accident, a road fatality, an overdose, whatever, I think that people should not take it upon themselves to send out sympathies over the Internet; they have no idea how many times this will pass across a loved one's desk. It's just so cold and impersonal. People really have to stop. While technology is fantastic it can also be a pain in the arse!